Why We Feel: Understanding Emotions and Feelings

Many of us spend our lives trying to manage, suppress, or escape our emotions. We’re told to “stay positive” or “not let feelings get in the way.” But what if emotions aren’t obstacles — what if they’re vital tools for survival, meaning, and growth?

We often carry the belief that emotions are something to be controlled, hidden, or overcome. Yet neuroscience and depth psychology both point to something deeper: our emotions are not the problem, disconnection from them is.

As a psychotherapist, I help clients reconnect with their emotional life through gentle, embodied practices that support regulation and integration. Together, we explore what your feelings are telling you, and how you can process and release them.

Feelings vs. Emotions: What’s the Difference?

Neuroscience shows us that emotions and feelings are related, but not the same thing:

Emotions are bodily, automatic responses to stimuli. They arise from ancient parts of the brain like the amygdala and brainstem. They prepare us to act — to flee, fight, freeze, reach out.

Feelings are our conscious experience of those emotions. They emerge in the cortex as we interpret what’s happening in our body and make sense of it.

Why Emotions Exist: A Survival Map

From an evolutionary perspective, emotions are not random — they each have a purpose:

Fear alerts us to danger.

Anger mobilises strength and sets boundaries.

Sadness slows us down to process loss.

Joy helps us bond and thrive.

Even so-called “negative” emotions are essential to our survival. The difficulty arises when we get stuck — when emotions remain unprocessed or overwhelming. This is often the case with early trauma, attachment wounds, or environments where emotions weren’t safe to express.

How I Support Emotional Regulation in Therapy

In my work, emotional regulation is about reconnection with feelings. Together, we create space for what has been supressed and silenced. We do this in many ways, some of these are:

Images & Imagination: Visualisation, dreamwork, and symbolic imagery can help bring unconscious emotional material into awareness in a safe and accessible way. Working with inner figures, archetypes, or mythic imagery can support emotional expression and help us to find meaning when words are hard to find.

Breathwork: Conscious breath is a powerful bridge between body and mind. I offer simple breathing practices to help regulate the nervous system, ease anxiety, and increase capacity for emotional presence.

Somatic Awareness: By tuning in to bodily sensations, we can begin to notice how emotions live in the body. I guide clients to gently sense, feel, and stay present with what arises — helping to integrate emotions that may have been frozen or fragmented.

This combination of embodied awareness and soulful inquiry helps shift emotional responses from reactive to reflective, from chaos towards coherence.

Feelings as Inner Guidance

Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio famously wrote that emotion is not opposed to reason; it is a foundation of it. Without feelings, we cannot prioritise, make decisions, or connect meaningfully.

In therapy, I invite clients to consider that their feelings are signals from the psyche asking to be heard, held compassionately, and understood. Over time, holding feelings in this way can change our relationship to our them, from avoidance to curiosity, from fear to trust.

From Regulation to Transformation

The work of emotional regulation is not about becoming unshakable or always calm. It’s about growing our own interior container — so that whatever arises within you feels held and has room to breathe.

When we understand our emotions and feelings, we begin to relate to them differently, not as burdens to control, but as messages to understand. Emotional awareness increases resilience, improves decision-making, and deepens relationships. Beyond that, it connects us to our inner life, our sense of self, who we really are.

In the words of Carl Jung: “Emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to light or from inertia to movement without emotion.” CW Volume 9, Part I: The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, paragraph 179

Image from Carl Jung, The Red Book, Image source- https://carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog/